Please help my relationship is in shambles....?

Me and my boyfriend are always arguing.. He is 33 and I am 22 we have a 3 year old child together and he has a 12 year old child from a prior relationship... I suggested we go to couples counseling and he told me he wasnt going to go because I need help with myself from situations that have happened in my past (molestation and abandonment) before he can try anything.. He says that a relationship couselor isnt certified or apt to help me with those issues (molestation and abandonment) his example is " You dont go to a dentist when your knee hurts".....is he correct?? Some please help and what do u recommend as my/our next step??.....